pursuit: (consider)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-02-17 02:46 am (UTC)(link)
[It's commonplace for Haise to hear and smell someone when they approach well before they greet him. Since the earliest days of his awareness, even when his senses were dulled by his staunch refusal to eat what was provided him, he'd known when anyone was drawing close. Today though, he doesn't notice until Kaneki speaks to him, and he jolts in his seat with a yelp he barely manages to bite down.

For all its newness its startling, and even when his attention is brought to the other, he still can't distinguish that scent from his own. Rationally, he knows it's to be expected: they're as close to the same as they can be, physically speaking. Even so, it's no less disconcerting.

But what a very strange question to sneak up on him and ask. Reluctantly, he turns in his seat to regard him-but-not]


It's fine, you keep it. There are other blankets around here.

[He doesn't exactly have a particular favorite, and seeing Kaneki bundled up as he is, it's not as though he'd ask for its return anyway. They may not enjoy anything resembling a friendly relationship, but he doesn't see any reason not to at least treat him equitably]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-02-24 01:21 am (UTC)(link)
[ That he continues to cause Haise a fright whenever he draws near, whether he's expected or unexpected, gives him a moment's pleasure. It had been one thing to haunt his dreams, a phantom clinging to the remnants of his once-reality by the skin of his teeth. He'd sunk them into Haise, and was not at all inclined to let him go, now that he had a physical body to match the presence of his mind.

He furrows his brow, and glances down towards the blanket he has wrapped about himself. Joke's on you, Haise - the blanket is Kaneki's now. ]


That's not what I meant. I meant this. Us.

[ Slowly, he extracts an arm - and beckons between them. ]

Did you think this would be what freed you?
pursuit: (frown)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-02-24 04:31 am (UTC)(link)
[It takes Haise a moment to realize just how tightly he grips the pen he's holding when Kaneki reaches toward him. His posture has grown rigid in an instant, like he's anticipating some sort of attack, and on some level, he is. The words Kaneki always had for him were ones he took as contempt and hostility, and he's seen no reason to re-evaluate that perception. If anything, having not-him in the tangible world only reinforces the notion.

He sets the pen down with deliberate care, opting to link his hands in front of himself as he considers that question. Kaneki had asked something of the sort earlier, hadn't he? Whether he'd known or not.

Of course he didn't know]


I never expected results in this form.

[It takes effort to project an air of calm, though it's aided by his own weariness. Haise had never considered that the CCG would give Kaneki his own separate body; such a thing belonged more in a science fiction novel than in reality. But he won't deny he wanted to be free of him]
decides: (001.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-02-26 06:53 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Part of Kaneki revels in the fact that his mere presence puts Haise on defense, that Haise is unable to take his eyes off of him. It's why he steps deeper into the room, dropping the blanket to the floor as he moves closer, and closer still. He wants to see - how close can he get, before Haise's instinct for self-preservation overrides his pretty manners. He wants to witness that moment - and to see how badly this... false thing in his body wants to cling to his life. ]

No, of course you didn't. You just wanted to be rid of me.

[ Deliberately slow, he leans in. Closer to Haise, until he's crouched at his side. ]

It's okay. The feeling is mutual. And I don't see a way to take this [ he presses his hand against Haise's (his) chest, over the space where his heart would be ] back.

[ For now, his tone implies. ]
pursuit: (disagree)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-02-27 05:17 am (UTC)(link)
[In the face of Kaneki's approach, Haise's tension only mounts. To his credit, he does manage to remain quite still. Perhaps entirely too much so, like a creature that hopes if it doesn't move at all, a predator might overlook it. Haise knows better than to believe that Kaneki will leave him alone if he gets no form of reaction from him; efforts to ignore him had only been rewarded with more attempts before.

Now that he's tangible, he has no choice but to look at him. Before, he could at least avoid doing so.

He sets his jaw, something behind his eyes hardening with what he can muster of resolve, if only because he's been forced into this position. For the span of his brief existence, Haise has been a cornered animal. It was made clear to him early on that either he rose to the occasion or he could die, and there was nothing in-between. He jerks when Kaneki plants his hand against his chest, but he doesn't move further. It's the best he can muster of some quiet defiance]


I don't think you could, as you are now.

[The stiffness about his words betrays his effort to remain composed, but his voice is steady nevertheless. Kaneki might be the sum of a past he dreaded being confronted with, but he's stuck with him now. He doesn't have the option to ignore him as he'd so often tried]
decides: (004.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-02-27 05:58 am (UTC)(link)
Haise.

[ The name curls, like the body of something serpentine and dripping with venom. Scolding, sarcastic. Kaneki's fingers tighten in the material of Haise's shirt, but he doesn't use that as leverage to bring the tense form of his "other" closer to him. Instead, he draws ever closer to him. In this place, where Haise's mark is upon everything - right down to the clothes that Kaneki wears, and oh, he has a few choice words about the decision to dress him up. Certainly, it was only logical, but Haise had put him in his clothes. ]

You're really not the first idiot to think that.

[ For shame.

Soon enough, Kaneki leans over Haise. One hand pressed against the edge of the table behind him, the other tangled in the material of his shirt. How far can he bully Haise, before the other lashes out in return? He's close now, close enough that biting into the flesh of Haise's neck would be an afterthought. Digging his fingers through his ribcage would be a simple endeavor. And yet, for all he's said about how he feels towards Haise, there in the dark abyss of his dreamscape - he makes no violent motion. His hand loosens, and his hip brushes against Haise's as he sits alongside him. ]


There's no love lost between us, you know that. And yet, you're now the safest from me that you could be.
pursuit: (unease)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-02-27 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
[The proximity is entirely too much. Not for the first time that day, Haise doesn't so much as breathe, simply waiting for Kaneki to lash out at him. He expects it with every movement and every syllable the other makes, and yet it doesn't come. Instead Kaneki just sits beside him, still too close, without ceremony. That hostility all but evaporates, and yet he's sure it's still there. The moment he lets his guard down, he'll be reminded of that.

He remains rigid where he sits, and he's sure it's perceptible to someone sitting this close beside him. In this moment, Haise isn't sure how he'll fare if he budges, and so he chooses not to. Better to be a statue that remains in one piece than crumbling]


I'm not the one who made it that way.

[And he surprises himself in saying that, some measure of shock darting across his features before he can catch himself. His only saving grace is that he's watching his hands rather than Kaneki, and it might pass for calm without that brief wide-eyed alarm he takes a moment to smooth away.

It's the truth, but it doesn't mean he wanted to bother voicing it. From his earliest days, Kaneki had never been a pleasant presence in his mind. And on some instinctual level he knew that giving in would be the end of him, so he'd come to recognize Kaneki for what he's always known him to be.

He hadn't decided to exist, nor had he picked a fight with this not-him, so far as he's concerned]


My only safety is in my utility.

[And in that, Kaneki is just the same as everyone else]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-03-07 05:02 am (UTC)(link)
[ A flash of something dark licks across Kaneki's expression; how bold Haise had grown, from one moment to the next. Clinging to the skirts of something that wasn't his to begin with. It hurts, to think that this "other" had been what was born from what was left behind. A soft thing, with a tremble in the set of his jaw and the inability to look his progenitor in the eye. Kaneki wants to seize his face and make him look; he wants Haise to look at him and never look away, and accept the truth of their situation.

Someone else had determined that Kaneki was more valuable in a place where he was simply made to exist. He doesn't fool himself into thinking that's all that's wanted of him. But, in comparison, it's quite rude. Haise has his uses, but Kaneki merely needs to be real.

With a heavy, annoyed sigh, he drops his weight against the other. The side of his body aligned with the side of Haise's, head pressed against his shoulder. ]


You know what I mean.

[ One of them had been bound and determined to subdue and consume the other, if balance could not be brokered.

With two, separate bodies, there was no more need. ]
I think you're rather useless, but I'm responsible for you.
pursuit: (review)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-03-08 04:44 am (UTC)(link)
[Does he know? Haise wonders about that, as Kaneki's weight asserts itself against him. As he asserts himself against him. It remains all too surreal that his presence is now corporeal, perhaps more real than it had ever been, and now he's forced to deal with him regardless of what he does. Perhaps his own stability is ensured, but the trade-off is not one that he would have willingly made had he known the truth.

But now, here they are, two made from just one, or perhaps one and a half. Haise's posture remains rigid even now, hardly comfortable for Kaneki to lean against, but he doubts that comfort is in any respect a motivator here. If anything, it's a reminder, or at least that's how it appears to his perception.

He huffs out a vexed breath himself, and collects his paperwork. Regardless of his circumstances, there are expectations in place, and he knows the consequences should he fail to meet them]


You'll think what you will.

[To both of those statements]