decides: (Default)

for haise.

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-29 07:13 am (UTC)(link)

Edited 2017-01-29 07:14 (UTC)
pursuit: (unease)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-29 10:29 am (UTC)(link)
[Throughout the span of this project, Haise has mostly been in the dark. He's been told where to report to, hooked up to machinery, had to supply samples of various sorts and spend more time being poked and prodded at than anything else. In all that time he's been unsure what the end result is meant to be — only that in the end, Kaneki isn't supposed to be haunting him anymore.

Release from that shadowy dread is at once something he hopes and fears for. He doesn't know what to make of the feeling, something nagging at him even as he thinks that he ought to be relieved. For time time now, he's felt the presence of Kaneki in the back of his awareness, sometimes quiet and others so loud it's impossible to ignore.

It was troublesome, the CCG had concluded, and so here he was.

That is, until one day he's told that they've finished. Haise has never known what the endgame was, but he does know that the nightmares have stopped. It doesn't feel as though something's scratching at the edges of his awareness anymore, instead a curious stillness settles over him. A void, like he's been hollowed out, and it only further begs the question of what 'finished' really meant.

When he's shown into the lab he sees exactly what it means, and all he can do is stare in abject disbelief, wide grey eyes taking in the sight of a curious figure. He's never looked at him, always too afraid, but somehow he knows immediately]


[Haise's voice comes out small and strained]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-29 09:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It's like

seeing the sun for the first time, in a long while

and being unable to close his eyes. It's blinding.

Someone calls his name, and the voice is a familiar one. It speaks from a mouth that was once his, and it is far gentler than he remembered it to be. Haise Sasaki stands before him, tense and clearly startled by this turn of events. What did you truly expect, he wants to tell him, this is what they consider 'a release'. But, this flesh of his is too new, hyper-sensitized, and his throat seizes up, uttering but a single, muted sound that could be shock, could be rejection. Of all people, he doesn't want Haise Sasaki to see him this way. Wrapped up in hospital scrubs, pieced together by some manner of wild science from what remained in Haise Sasaki's newly minted brain. He didn't want this. But, if this is how it will be - ]


[ It's about all he can manage, half a wheeze, half a laugh.

He stretches a hand out, as if trying to reach across the room, and matches his fingers up with the length of Haise's throat. Miming the motion of seizing him by the throat, hard and fast. He's so tired, though. Though his fingers twitch, there's no strength in him. Can you still hear me, he thinks at Haise, and huffs a frustrated, resigned sound. So, this is how things are. ]
pursuit: (avert)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-29 10:50 pm (UTC)(link)
[He follows the gesture nervously, and to his discomfort, he thinks he recognizes what Kaneki is doing. And even here, in a tangible form he doesn't quite seem able to control yet, his former self is intimidating. Haise swallows uncomfortably, his first instinct to look back at the door. Predictably it's been shut behind him without his notice, his shoulders bunching up now that he does, given the distinct impression that he's been locked in a tiger's cage along with it.

When he decides the door isn't going to yield under his staring, he reluctantly looks to Kaneki again. The silence that settles heavily between them is one he doesn't elect to interrupt, not quite trusting his voice, and further uncertain what he could possibly say. Rather than speak, then, he takes stock of the person across the room.

He seems weary, this newly crafted him-but-not. Maybe that's a part of whatever process it was. Despite the quiet he's been given, Haise isn't sure that he would have gone along with this had he known what the scientists were really doing. What does it mean for Kaneki, to be this way? Afraid as he is, the thought still occurs to him. He'd always pictured the other as so much stronger, but only the vestigial intimidation remains.

It's sufficient to keep him rooted in place by the door, at least, hands clasped a little too tight]

...I'm sorry.

[He startles himself with the words, because he doesn't know why he's sorry]
decides: (003.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-30 12:57 am (UTC)(link)
[ The shape of his hands, the length of his limbs, the white of his hair - it's all familiar, but being without for so long leaves him disoriented, as though he's stepped into a new suit and all the seams are wrong. The young man standing before him wears the body he'd been intimately familiar with, and this new one - practically identical, save for the placement of his new surgical scars - is foreign territory. He assumes it's the chemicals, the drugs, the medicines that the doctors have had him on, keeping him subdued and slowed, that put him at ill ease with the movements of his body. Kaneki drops his grasping hand into his lap, and scowls.

He's still so tired.

Braced in the wheelchair he had been "escorted" into, he pulls the thin material of his shirt tighter around his ribs with one hand. The other, he turns over in his lap, crooking a finger at Haise Sasaki. Wordlessly, he's commanding him to come closer. Stop lingering by the door, as nobody will allow him to leave until they witness whatever it is that they're looking for. ]
pursuit: (unease)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-30 01:15 am (UTC)(link)
[With the wary manner in which Haise is watching him, he assuredly see that gesture. Even so, he lingers in place, an awkward dark pillar in this stark white room, hands still clasped too tight and shoulders rigid. Kaneki looks almost harmless where he sits, and yet he doubts anything will convince him that this is truly the case. On some deeper level, he's certain that it isn't at all the case, because the presence in his mind has always loomed over him like the shadow of a far larger creature. Even now he sees it.

It takes no small measure of effort to inch closer, reluctance evident in the gradual way with which he approaches this task. He doesn't think he's going to be allowed to leave so easily, though he hasn't the first idea of what this is meant to accomplish. Whatever's expected of them now is about as clear to him as the nature of this project was.

Here and now, he's still not sure what this was supposed to yield in the long run. He doesn't think Kaneki is a presence easily controlled or influenced, least of all by him, so it can't be that.

What is it, then?

He doesn't know, and he halts beyond arm's reach, having ventured as far as he dares to go at the moment. Sedate as his company is, part of him suspects that could change at any moment, and he's spent quite some time being jeered at for his own weakness by this very individual]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-30 01:55 am (UTC)(link)
[ Where Haise is wary, Kaneki is direct.

Despite that he-but-not lingers just out of his reach, Kaneki reaches for him anyways.

He leans forward in his chair expectantly, as his hand glides through the space between them. He nearly over-reaches, nearly tips forwards out of his chair - still feeling the imbalances and imperfections caused by sedation and newly-spun muscle structure. One hand has to hold fast to the arm of the chair he's in, as he stubbornly leans forwards and snatches for Haise's hand. Or his wrist. Or even a few fingers. Anything that he can find purchase on, and use as leverage. Enough, so that when he hauls backwards, shoving his weight back into the chair, he can drag Haise the rest of the way into the kill box.

Kaneki's other hand, the one that had been clutching at the arm of the chair, finds its way to Haise's face. His face, once. Thumb finding the corner of his mouth, while his other fingers hook into the angle of his jaw. As though preparing to physically tear his-but-not's face clear from bone. ( This is not what he does - instead, his thumb pushes forwards. Pressing the corner of Haise's mouth back, back further. Until he sees the glint of teeth and has set Haise's expression into an awkward half-smile. ) There. ]

Why this.
pursuit: (stare)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-30 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Despite his wariness, Haise doesn't expect it when it comes. Kaneki seems barely able to move, and yet he catches and drags him closer regardless, forces him to stumble to maintain some sort of balance. It sends a thrill of alarm through him, now that he's physically present to grab hold of him like this, and the hand on his face doesn't help keep his thoughts from scattering in a dozen frantic directions, none of which help him to respond. Instead all he can think of is how that hand is too close to his eyes.

He doesn't know why it is, but he's wary of anything getting too close. His predisposition toward fearing what Kaneki represents only make this worse, and for too long all Haise can do is stare at a face entirely too close to his own both in appearance and physical proximity.

It takes more effort than he'd like to admit to remind himself to move. To catch Kaneki's hand and nudge it away. To try and stand up straight despite that surprising grip migrating to his wrist next. He should have kept further away. He sees that now, confronted and trapped as he feels]

I don't know.

[He admits, voice quiet if only because he can better control it that way. It's the truth of the matter; he really doesn't know. Of all the outcomes he might've imagined, giving Kaneki his own, separate body seems too much the stuff of science fiction for him to have considered.

Not to mention, it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities that disturb him]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-30 02:22 am (UTC)(link)

[ The explosion of movement seems to have taken enough out of him, that when Haise pushes his hand away from his face, Kaneki doesn't fight back. The smile he'd forced upon his face was awkward, unlike the smiles he had seen ( felt ) Haise wear so many times before. Earnest, kind little things. If he closes his eyes, he can almost feel the pull of muscles in his brow, the way the corners of his mouth would curl. It's like being lost inside of Haise again, only now - he can open his eyes. Now, the ground is cool and solid below his feet.

Now, he can feel Haise's pulse ( formerly his, matching his ) hammering away behind the slender, strong bones of his wrist. That part of Haise, he has no intention of releasing. ]

They'll release me into your care, soon.

[ Talking is tiring, but he wants to ensure they're on the same page. ]

Stay close.

[ His hand, wrapped around Haise's wrist, tenses. On any other living creature, he could snap their bones with such a move. It's merely a tight hold, between the two of them. ]
pursuit: (adjust)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-30 02:48 am (UTC)(link)
[The assertion, as with so much else, catches Haise by surprise. He wouldn't expect that he'd be made responsible for Kaneki, especially given that he was the cause for so much erratic — they often used the word inconvenient — behavior. Nothing about that had suggested that he would be able to do anything to mitigate anything that Kaneki might attempt, now that he's physically independent]

My—? But—

[He doesn't get any further before that grip around his wrist tightens like a vice. It doesn't damage him, but he recognizes the strength behind it, and that it could do much more than hurt if they weren't of the same biology. More than that, he knows if more effort were applied, he could be injured all the same.

Haise is left to wonder if it's a warning of some kind, but he isn't about to test is luck by inquiring, Instead, he swallows thickly, squaring his shoulders in some attempt to feel less like some small, trapped animal]

Just...don't touch my face.

[The audacity of that soft request doesn't escape him. It was Kaneki's face first]
decides: (004.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-30 10:25 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He could not begin to say why. Only that he had overheard a conversation that resulted in the decision to release him into Haise's care. Kaneki holds no trust in that decision, and naturally expects that there is more than just an ulterior motive for placing him with the one who had once been. He doesn't answer Haise's perplexed utterings, but his hand is still wrapped tight about his wrist. There isn't any sign that he's thought to let go.

The smile that crosses his face is not kindly - but it is at least brief, when Haise asks him not to touch "his" face.

Using the grip he has on Haise's wrist, he tugs him to one side - because the door he had entered through is moments from to opening to admit the ones responsible for this entire set-up. Kaneki knows that he can also hear the footsteps, but positioning is everything when one is clearly unmatched. Only now, he lets go, and folds his hands together in his lap. ]
pursuit: (slump)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-01-31 03:46 am (UTC)(link)
[Kaneki's smile is in-line with Haise's expectations. He couldn't imagine him wearing such an expression with any believable warmth, for all that he'd haunted him for much of the brief span of his memory. For fear of him, he'd never looked his way, regardless of how many times he'd been prompted to do so, and he thinks perhaps that was the right choice.

Then again, he has no choice but to look, now.

With his wrist freed, Haise is quick to fold his arms behind him, tucking his hands neatly away from Kaneki's reach, or so he hopes. He'd been so distracted by all this that he'd failed to notice the sound of approaching footfalls, but they hammer in his ears now. He straightens his posture and watches the door, unsure what to expect, but holding to the hope that Kaneki had been wrong.

The door swings open and a middle-aged man in a lab coat strolls into the room, bespectacled gaze on the clipboard he's carrying rather than the two of them. He hardly bothers to look up, when he halts, intent instead on the paperwork he's reading. A hum or two is the sum total of what they're greeted with, and it's a wonder to Haise that the man didn't run into anything along the way.

Just as he opens his mouth to speak, the other man speaks up first]

I see you've exchanged your greetings, Sasaki.

[Once more, Haise makes an attempt to say something, but he's cut off before he manages much more than an initial sound]

Initial readings are within expected bounds, if a little low... RC levels aren't quite what we expected, but given the diet, not surprising. [The man's back to scanning his clipboard, casually leafing through pages] We'll be assigning Kaneki here as your subordinate, given your...unique circumstances.

[Now, Haise interrupts with a sputter, unconsciously moving a full step away from Kaneki's side as he stares at the doctor in open disbelief]

M-my sub- [The word chokes off before he can finish it, voice strained with alarm as it is. Why was Kaneki right?] But he hasn't even been through the academy—

[A logical argument to make, he thinks, except his reward is a dismissive wave]

You've given instruction before, haven't you, Sasaki? Besides which, he was technically present for your training...
Edited 2017-01-31 03:47 (UTC)
decides: (003.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-01-31 05:39 am (UTC)(link)
[ The expression he dons, when the man in the lab coat enters the room, is nothing short of sullen loathing. Lethargic as he is, it doesn't take much to sink back into the chair he's been placed in and stare daggers through the nonchalant, paper-pushing scientist who speaks to Haise and overlooks Kaneki. He is a fixture, in this room. A baton to be passed from one hand to the next, and the hands that he comes to rest in are ones that he is painfully, intimately familiar with.

Haise does not seem content with the man's assessment, nor the delivery of a decision that Kaneki had already been privy to, when he had been awoken from a long, dark slumber. It had been surreal, not recognizing when he had been pulled from Haise's mind ( had he? was he the same consciousness that had shared space with the other besides him, or was this something else entirely? ) and placed into a freshly minted form. ]


[ The man in the lab coat does catch the quiet, derisive sound that Kaneki makes in the back of his throat.

That is the only acknowledgement that he receives, as all conversation is directed to the investigator at his side.

He'd like to leave this sterile, white place, and he does his best to convey the sentiment to Haise. It's difficult, when he cannot discern if their thoughts are still linked, or if Haise is even paying him mind as he drums his fingers irritably against his thighs. The two of them will be stuck together for some time, as subordinate and superior. For as long as they have purpose, he knows. Holding fast to Haise had robbed him of what little energy he'd possessed, and he can feel himself slipping, down and deep. He'll fall asleep if this goes on much longer, and hates the idea of taking his eyes off of either of them. ]

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decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-03-29 02:58 am (UTC)(link)
[ This is how things are:

He sleeps, far too much for his liking. A newly-implanted biological drive, fashioned to keep him from trouble and prevent his hostilities towards Haise and/or the CCG from reaching levels that would prove detrimental. His days are spent in and out of fugue, until he draws close to his other-self. He deduces there is something encoded in his shiny-new DNA that anchors him, far too strongly, to Haise's existence.

As much as he tries to entice Haise, he argues with him that much more. It's unavoidable.

He takes to touching him, slowly at first, and then with less and less hesitancy. He learns the meaning of the brush of his fingers along Haise's ribs, as the other hunches over paperwork and battles his way through reports. He learns that breathing across the back of his neck pressures Haise more than words, and that he can keep his promise to not touch his face with greater ease than he thought at first. There are bad nights, for both of them. He wonders, sometimes, if Haise still dreams of him - the way he used to.

He learns he prefers the company, and that he will never admit to it. ]

Haise, [ he calls, moments before his fingers brush over the hairs at the nape of his other-self's neck. ]
pursuit: (phone)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-03-29 05:45 am (UTC)(link)
[When they first met face-to-face, Haise couldn't have conceived of a time during which he'd be accustomed to Kaneki's presence. He'd always been some looming shadow in the back of his mind, and he'd never quite adapted to that so much as accepted it with some resignation, but physical proximity is another matter entirely. He'd have thought that he would never acclimate — that he'd flinch and start every time he failed to pick up that presence before Kaneki was right there beside him.

And yet it seems he's capable of more adjustment than he'd expected. He's not entirely accustomed, and maybe he never will be, but it's something he's learned to live with, incidental touches and all. He isn't quite sure why Kaneki does it, after he stops jolting at every glancing bit of contact. Beyond that point, surely it doesn't serve his purposes. So he thinks. So he expects.

But they only become more typical, and he finds that for his part, he doesn't mind it.

Well, with the exception of Kaneki breathing down the back of his neck, or any permutation thereof. Light as that touch is, it makes him go stock still, shoulders bunching automatically at the intrusion. The report he was writing now sports a jagged line across three sections, to top if off]


[He tries, albeit stiffly, to prompt some elaboration.

Unless he's simply saying his name. Sometimes, it is just that]
Edited 2017-03-29 05:48 (UTC)
decides: (004.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-03-31 08:04 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Up, his fingers brush. Dusting through those short hairs, the white ends. Kaneki touches the back of Haise's head, in the same moment that he touches his own bangs - his hair, in contrast, is still shock-white and it perplexes him. Is this an aesthetic, selected by the scientists, or his entire, sudden existence a thing that has left him in a perpetual state.

Haise's steady hand skitters across the page, and Kaneki reaches down. Both hands resting over the backs of Haise's, fingers curled around the sides. He hovers there, nothing but two points of contact and the voice, curling around the crown of Haise's head. Speaking into the roots of dark hair. ]

Let me finish the paperwork.

[ Sometimes, it's all he has. ]
pursuit: (confound)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-04-01 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
[And there he is, hovering a little too close, breath warm on the back of his neck. Haise's posture only grows more rigid for it, a perceptible difference that runs from his shoulders to his hands. He has no doubt that Kaneki notices the way his fingers twitch, but he pretends he doesn't, quietly loosing his grip on the pen and setting it down]

Alright... I'll get a fresh form.

[Since he's made a mess of this one in such short order.

His free hand drifts over to a shelf, tugging one blank form sheet down to offer to Kaneki. It's not much of a loss in progress, and it spares an abrupt change in handwriting. They're just different enough, though it's by design: Haise writes larger and neater because that's been expected of him in the workplace. And, in a way, he'd distanced himself from who he used to be in that manner too]

decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-04-02 11:33 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Kaneki is uncharacteristically silent, as he takes the blank form and Haise's pen from him - shooing him away from his workdesk, so that he can take his place and complete the remainder of his reports. He works off of Haise's notes, asking him questions only when they're pertinent and can be whittled down into five words or less - and generally, he does not make a nuisance of himself at this time. His handwriting is far smaller, tight and full of angles. If he were to concentrate, he could mimic Haise's hand fairly well, but that isn't his goal tonight.

When he finishes the paperwork, he slips it into the correct folder, and sets it aside. If Haise has lingered, he turns to him - otherwise, he seeks him out. ]

I want to go out.

[ He's come to understand that he does not live under his own authority. He needs Haise, to go places. ]

Come with me, to the bookstore. I need something new to read.

[ Or something comfortably old, as he is wont to select. Already, he's gone to locate Haise's jacket. And a second jacket, also belonging to Haise, which he slips into. He wears what he finds, or what is given to him, seemingly without a concern. Which means that everything he currently has on, belongs to his other-self. Minus the socks, to be fair. ]
pursuit: (curious)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-04-05 11:16 am (UTC)(link)
[The invitation — he chooses to view it as such — comes as a surprise to Haise. As much flickers across grey eyes before he can do anything about it, holding the book he's been leafing through in pointed silence. Just a little too still. Though Kaneki has suggested something terribly mundane and ostensibly non-threatening in this instance, one wouldn't know it from his response.

It's a brief, short-lived thing, but there's no doubt that Kaneki would know that expression on a face that was once his before Haise can smooth it away. Maybe it's the sheer normalcy of it that startles him]

Ah... [At least it's an utterance, though he presses on after a short lapse] Alright.

[And now, after such delay, he realizes that his jacket's been offered to him. He accepts it a little absently, shrugging the familiar garment on. There are several bookstores they could visit, so he thinks to ask in case Kaneki has a preference]

Anything in particular you had in mind?
decides: (009.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-04-06 10:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Haise dons his jacket, and Kaneki's hands find the lapels - creasing them around his neck and drawing them down into a neat line. It's an idle gesture, perhaps better suited for Haise's hands than his own, but it allows him to linger in thought for a moment longer. As though considering which store he wants to go to, before he shrugs. ]

The nearest one. I'd rather not be monitored all the way across the city.

[ Something sharp and acidic in his tone offsets the uncharacteristically fussy gesture, as he buttons Haise's jacket and then steps away to slip into a pair of shoes.

This time, he leads the way - tired of being cooped up and ready for some fresh air. ]
pursuit: (consider)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-04-07 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[Haise finds it a curious thing, the way Kaneki straightens his clothes. Without intention, his eyes follow those hands as best they can, observing some curious phenomenon. He'd not have pictured the other as being the type for such gestures and he's still unsure what he should think of it. In so many little ways, Kaneki defies his expectations]

They don't watch us quite that closely...

[That's what the suppressants are for, he knows. They're quite standard in the "stew" they're provisioned with, but this is something the knows he doesn't have to tell Kaneki. There was a sour recognition in his expression the first time they'd sat together during what constituted a meal.

Haise never calls it as much. What they're given is a bitter thing in more ways than one.

Today he follows Kaneki's lead to a bookstore they both recognize, and he falls a short distance behind once they've entered the building. He doesn't need to crowd him after all]
decides: (003.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-04-10 03:45 am (UTC)(link)
They watch, and I don't enjoy it.

[ His expression is, without a doubt, withering.

Whether they are watched quite closely, or only as a supplement to the diet that they've been fed, it remains fact that Kaneki does not appreciate eyes upon him. But, he is a new thing - a thing to be studied, an entire consciousness divorced from the root and given purchase in a body grown especially for him. He wonders, sometimes, if Haise feels the scars as well. The portions within him that were burnt away, to divide the pair of them from one another in one decisive swoop. He doesn't believe he has to wonder if Haise prefers the scars to the former connection.

The bookstore is quiet, save for the ring of the distant register, and Kaneki casts a look over his shoulder to pinpoint Haise's location before he steps into the stacks and begins his work. He pulls books from their shelves and flips through them, taking his time ( and remaining Aware ). When he places them back, it's with a sort of stern rejection, as though the subject matter is not to his liking. He puts them in different places. Rearranges them, almost absently. Accidentally.

It is not, at all, an accident, that he spells quick, curt phrases with the spines of the books. Leaving them in his wake ( though he selects one or two, so as not to be OBVIOUS in his motions ), and holding an armful of novels he seems to be partial to. ]
pursuit: (ponder)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-04-11 11:37 am (UTC)(link)
[Haise doesn't go out of his way to keep an eye on Kaneki, trusting that he won't need to. In the beginning he'd watched him more closely, the ever-present awareness of his responsibility pressing in on him so much that he was compelled to, but with time he's come to understand the lack of necessity. Regardless of whether he seeks him out or not, he knows Kaneki will find him, having so often made a habit of appearing right behind him or at his elbow when least expected. Their scent is so similar that it's difficult to even track him.

It makes enough sense, he knows. They're about as close to identical as possible, by virtue of how Kaneki's body was fashioned. Some details differ, most notably their hair, and the marks of past battles exist only on Haise's body. It's ironic, considering he's not the one who knows what battles led to those internal scars.

He wanders the bookstore with his arms tucked behind him, glancing at the shelves with no particular intention to find something for himself. His own collection isn't lacking, but he knows by now that Kaneki's favorite genre is one he isn't keen on. His favorite author, likewise, is one that Haise doesn't share an interest in. And so he means simply to pass the time while he waits. That is, until he spots a title out of place. And another. And another...

It's enough to make him pause, collecting these from the shelves in order to put them back where they ought to be]
decides: (002.)

[personal profile] decides 2017-04-20 04:41 am (UTC)(link)
[ as he comes back to haise, he notes the novels that have been gathered by the other. the ones that had been purposefully moved about, to create quick, brief messages - literary morse code, perhaps - and kaneki keeps his expression schooled, his motions as smooth as he can. he reaches out with one hand, to gently remove the books that haise has picked up, and replaces them with the ones that he's gone around collecting for eventual purchase. ]

What do you think of these?

[ a question, one that he hasn't asked haise before. they share similar tastes, but are divided enough in opinion to remain two unlike.

he crowds into haise's space, pushing aside titles to direct his attention to this one, and that one - all the while turning to set the books back on the shelf where haise had pulled them from. as though discarding them for Just A Moment, while he discusses the more important ones. the ones that lead him to stand closer to haise, practically shoulder-to-shoulder with him, as he flips open one of the novels and points out a particular passage. he's doing his best, in that moment, to utterly consume haise's mind and his attention. it's ironic twist, considering. ]
pursuit: (phone)

[personal profile] pursuit 2017-04-20 05:20 am (UTC)(link)
[Haise can't remember the last time that Kaneki actually wanted his opinion on literature, staring at him in disbelief before he catches himself and smooths the shock off his face. The other already knew something of his opinions and tastes, and had more than once dismissed the both of them, so he wouldn't have expected to be asked. Closeness isn't new, although in this setting, his shoulders bunch up when Kaneki bumps against him.

Maybe he just wants to dissuade strangers from approaching them, or something like that. In the past it hadn't really been a problem, but it's what he imagines as he looks over the text. It's something he knows. Something he's sure Kaneki knows he knows, in point of fact, a realization that crinkles his brow.

But if he really wants him to state his thoughts, he doesn't see any harm in it]

I thought his late work was colored by the gradual loss of his eyesight... [He pauses, hesitant, if only because surely if it's apparent to him, it's clear to Kaneki already] There's a deep melancholy when he reflects on his past. A longing, you could say.

[What he doesn't know of course is that his sort-of other half is a close reader, rather than a contextual one like him. They might well come to their own conclusions for entirely different reasons]

But why ask me?

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